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Replace C’s with E’s

Positive

 Last week I shared a tip – “Spend one day of the week without Complaining, Condemning and Criticizing.”   Having said that we are creatures of habit and habits are easier to form but difficult to erase provided we replace it with a new habit.  And before we move farther lets have a common definition, how Oxford online dictionary defines 3C’s?

  • CRITICISM: Indicate the faults of (someone or something) in a disapproving way
  • COMPLAIN: Express dissatisfaction or annoyance about something
  • CONDEMN: Express complete disapproval

My 2nd tip is “Practice not using 3C’s for the next 24 hours and replace it with 3E’s positive emotions” as follows   …..

Replace CRITICISM with ENTERTAIN:  Whenever you feel like criticizing someone. Practice sharing a joke.  People will love you for doing so and you would master the art of telling a joke.

Replace COMPLAIN with ENCOURAGE:  Whenever you feel like complaining – stop hold those feeling and find one good thing in the target person, tell him how impressed you are with his one behavior pattern and encourage him to repeat that behavior.  Remember we are encouraging a specific behavior.  Its not YOU but YOUR behaviour

Replace CONDEMN with ENTHUSE: Whenever you feel like condemning – stop hold back those feeling and find when this person had practiced positive behavior enthuse him for being such a person.  Enthuse him for his values and behavior.  Here target of enthuse is the person not the behavior.  It’s YOU and not YOUR behavior

Now the trick is not only to speak positive but next week replace 3Es with 3A’s such as APPLAUD;   APPROVE; APPRECIATE followed by B’s (Brilliant, Bravo, Brightweek after and improve upon your VOCABULARY of positive words.

Golden Tips in Life

Gold_NuggetsLast week I came across few brilliant nuggets of ideas for self-improvements and am sharing it with my connections on LinkedIn and Facebook

  1. REINVENT: Progress happens when you step out of your COMFORT zone and move into COURAGE Apportion 80% of your time in comfort zone i.e. routine exercises and apportion 20% time in Courage zone.  And sooner you will see change in your life.
  2. SPICE: It’s an acronym for Spiritual, Physical, Intellectual, Community and Emotional. Stretch out of your COMFORT zone in SPICE
  3. WEAK LINK: Every day spend time with new people, new forums. Because 90% of your success is a reflection on NEW. Research says most people get their job referral through weak connection called 2nd degree connections in Social Media zone. So spend time on strengthening your first degree connections and then reach out to second degree connections through referrals.
  4. Rule of 3C’s: Spend one day of the weak without Complaining, Condemning and Criticizing. You will find it difficult to do so but the exercise is worth in Gold.
  5. INTERNAL DIALOGUE: Your internal dialogue shapes your life.  If your internal dialogues are positive you will reflect positive results and if you internal dialogues are negative, result will be similar – its GIGO Garbage in Garbage out.

I wrote this blog around 12:00 mid night and loved the feeling.  I made a call to a friend and held back criticizing and complaining.   The feeling was euphoric.  I am certain you will enjoy too practicing rule of 3Cs.

 

Power of Reminder

 

Crying_Baby“The experience adds to sticky factor is a really good post. I just read it. Just a note, it’s not off course it’s of course. And it should be meetings and meets instead of simply meet and meetings :D” .. ……Wrote Alisha Mehra.

This was the email I received from my daughter who is studying to be a lawyer. This was a VERY pleasant surprise that she cared to read and like. The article had bridged the generation gap and during the process I learnt my lesson.  Life is about continuous learning and last week I learnt another VERY important lesson. If you want to succeed in life than follow two simple steps

  • PLAN MEANINGFUL TASK: Plan and Write down your Meaningful task.
  • REMINDER: Continue reminding yourself (Meaningful Tasks) what needs to be done.

Put in POST IT notes reminders on your computer, in your bedroom, in your wash room, in your office, in your car. And sooner than later you will realize that you have accomplished the task. I have realized there is nothing beyond your capacity to achieve, its just that in the humdrum of life our attention is diverted and another task takes precedence. Result we miss deadlines and fail to complete the meaningful task. Hence the trick is CONTINUE REMINDING yourself; put an alert on your cell phone, ask your family and friends to follow up. Sooner you will be a success. It’s like the crying baby gets the milk. Reminders are like the crying baby and our attention like the parents.
Continuous “REMINDERS” is a powerful tool; so Remind, Remind and Remind till you complete the meaningful task.

Dell Tablet for 23 – Business Cards

 

Change-1Last Tuesday I was attending SME meet at Grosvenor Hotel – Dubai.  Moments before the next speaker EMCEE asked everyone to rise and said “in next 7 minutes move around the room introduce yourself and collect as many business cards.  And the person who collects maximum business Cards will win a Dell Tablet.”  Over 100 in the hall stood up whereas I quietly moved out of the hall for a hot cup of coffee.  And returned sooner everyone settled down for the next session.

Fast forward the event came to an end and it was time to acknowledge participants and announce the winners.  The first winner was for the raffle drawn out of the feedback form submitted by the attendees.  And the second draw was for the person who collected maximum number of  business cards.

Emcee came to the lectern and asked who has collected 5 or more business cards.  Many in the audience stood up.  And then he further announced 10 cards or more, many more in  the attendees sat down.  15 and more, four remained standing.  20 and more, 2 remained and the Dell Tablet was won by the lady who collected 23 business cards.  She was called on the stage to collect the prize and introduce herself.

Immediately few thoughts surfaced in my conscious.

  1. 23 cards (from an audience of over 100+ people) in 7 minutes for a Notebook seemed very easy task.
  2. I could have done it easy.
  3. Oh no I did not carry enough business cards so it was not possible to collect cards.  I was still bent on rationalizing why I could not have done it. 
  4. When the announcement for card collection exercise was made; I felt pretty awkward and exercise seemed daunting.  Hence I dropped out of the race to get a cup of coffee – an easy way out. 

MESSAGE We are so ensconced in our comfort zone that every change seems difficult but easy when we see someone else accomplishing it. Secondly change brings opportunities.  The lady received an opportunity to introduce herself and everyone in the audience was awed by her and congratulated her later. 

I am certain that if similar opportunity knocks next time I would still run out of the room to grab my cup of coffee and come back during awards ceremony and envy the winner.  Because Change seems Tough.

 

Lesson that Changed my Life

Simple Lessons

Simple lessons are masked in simple experiences. On the flip side simple lessons are the strongest foundation of our success that is taught in no schools.   Let me share seven simple lessons that changed my life.

  1. ASK for what you want….. Effectively:  I joined sales and failed miserably because I did not ask for orders. I suffered more because I did not ask for help either.  How I wish I had a mentor who could have taught me the importance of asking and asking effectively.  Because when I realized the importance of asking I faltered on asking effectively.
  2. You improve when you step out of your COMFORT zone:   This lesson can change your life and changed mine too.    I would make few unplanned calls a day.  Some time I would not make any calls and compensate the time with mundane activities i.e. Making proposal or hand delivering proposal copy.  I was not progressing.  Sooner I stepped out of my comfort zone and began making 4 planned visits a day for the week ahead.  Results improved and my learning increased.
  3. Your personality blossoms when you attempt NEW TASK for the first time Winston Churchill once said “Change is improvement and perfection is change often.”  I had covered most of my life years walking a straight line.  And one fine day after a profound discussion with friends I decided to learn one new task every six months.  Result I made new friends acquired new skills and discovered new revenue streams. Read the rest of this entry »

  4. You build strong teams, when you begin looking for GOOD in others:   In a corporate world no sooner you walk into the office you are being judged and judgment is about finding faults.  What if you endeavor to find good in others; what is their strength where they will be the best fit.  Good Manager becomes better Manager when he looks for good in others.    Successful leaders find good in other which other may not see or the person himself is not aware of.  Many years ago one of my employers picked up a supermarket floor salesman to sell technology and he went on to ace the sales achievement numbers year on year.  Employer would successfully repeat this exercise by hiring people from different domain and positioning them in another.
  5. Be your CHEER leader Everyone needs encouragement and there are two options to achieving so – either wait for the third party to cheer you up or begin cheering yourself up.  Either of them works because our brain does not distinguish between the two commands.  So be your cheer leader.
  6. LOVE yourself:   This is extremely important to develop and it is internal as well as external.  Internal refers to healthy living – exercise and positive thinking and external refers to continuous learning to sparkle your knowledge.  When you practice this principle you will begin to love yourself and others too.
  7. Get comfortable with setbacks and faster you will succeed:  I realized whenever I had a challenge my performance dropped because I was consumed by worries what would happen now?  Later I realized that more setbacks I experienced more confident I grew – no more cloud of worries.  Hence I decided to take bigger risk to get early lessons and succeed faster.

Simple lessons are masked in simple life experiences;  what is yours.  If you like it  ——- share

Everybody has PROBLEMS

 stress

Imagine you call up your customer for the outstanding payment and the response is “We cannot make the payment please take back the equipment.”   Later in the evening you receive a call that your best  friend has been admitted to the hospital.

Next morning you  go for a health checkup and the Doctor says that you have a high  cholesterol. Later in the day your appraisal has been completed and your senior neither recommends a raise nor a promotion. Aah!

How do you react?  Most of the people in your situation will fold up and withdraw in self-pity and cursing.   On the flip side there are a handful few  who bounce back with vigour and high octane fuel.  Where do they get the inspiration to bounce back?

Well I have a close friend who always bounces back irrespective how hard he hits the ground.  I am amazed by his capacity to let go of the past and move forward hence I called on him to request recipe for his secret sauce.   He kept quiet for sometime and said Vinod lets go watch Cricket live telecast.

Read the rest of this entry »

He switched on the TV and we were  engrossed in the game of cricket.  Just when the game was getting interesting,  he switched off the TV.  I shouted  …….. what!  He said about an hour back you asked me my Secret sauce to bounce back.  I suppose you got the answer.  He further said that whenever I have a bad day; I just shift my focus to things I enjoy doing.  And then he said “Did you notice 20,000 people in the stadium watching the game of cricket?  How excited they were ?  They are die hard cricket fans who enjoy watching live cricket at any cost.  And for them Cricket is the source for an inspiration and forget their troubles for the time.”   He said the secret sauce is “focus your thoughts on the things you enjoy and sooner your troubles will be gone.”

My next question to you is “what do you enjoy doing?”    I will share my list of few that I have compiled and  enjoy doing.

  1. READING NON-FICTION BEST SELLERS:-  My favourite “The Magic of Thinking big,” “Who moved my cheese;” “Think and Grow Rich;” “The Monk who sold his Ferrari;”  “Yes the 50 secrets of Persuasion;” “Outliers;” “Tipping point” “The Brain Advantage” and so on.
  2. LISTENING TO AUDIO :-  Listening in the car or on my MP3, Inspirational speeches by Jim  Rohn, Sandeep Maheshwari, Brian Tracy and TED.
  3. NATURE IS A SUPERB CURE :– Going for an early morning walk.  There is power in the early hour’s cool wind and the silence in the air.
  4. TALKING TO POSITIVE PEOPLE WHO UPLIFT AND INSPIRE YOU :– A friend, colleague or a family member. Or attend a seminar or an event with an uplifting theme.
  5. ATTEND TOASTMASTERS MEETING or visit a museum or an art exhibition.
  6. Reading my GRATITUDE book.
  7. And finally SKIPPING, STAIR CLIMBING or a short jog.

What is your Secret Sauce?

6 REASONS I failed in my 2013 RESOLUTIONS

 


2013 has come to an end and new year 2014 is on the horizon.  2012 I failed in my resolutions whereas in 2013 I failed miserably in my resolutions.  This time I have decided to try a different process and am sharing my thoughts in the post.   I will agree on resolution provided I can answer the following 6 questions.

  1. Write my new year’s resolutions.
  2. Write down why I want to achieve them?
  3. Do I have the right tools to achieve them?
  4. Do I believe in them?
  5. Do I have a plan?
  6. Finally are they aligned with my goals in life?

If I have a compelling answer to the above Six QUESTIONS then go ahead and incorporate them as part of my 2014 resolution. And in the event I don’t;  either I drop them or find  compelling reason and then make that part of   2014 resolution.

Good luck for your 2014 resolution and success.

Bye Bye 2013 and WELCOME 2014

 

2013 is going down and 2014 is on the horizon.  Hence it’s time to examine what did I learn and  what do I expect from 2014.   Having said that 2013 was a year of learning and I believe year 2014 would be an year of consolidation.

During the 2013 passage I learnt to accept risks and failures.   Four deep and powerful messages I learnt  were

  1. Every human engagement is an exchange.  The challenge is to understand what is being given and what is being received.   For example I met a person who thought she had nothing to offer – but on the flip side I learnt and enjoyed her storytelling, her slangs and her appetite for learning and good eating.
  2. 2nd most powerful message I learnt was that every day, yes daily I must add value to myself.  And when you begin adding value you begin garnering respect from the people around.  There is no powerful activity in the world but to gain structured and planned knowledge.
  3. 3rd powerful message I would like to share is – share your learning, the more you share more in-depth you understand the lesson.   2013 I shared my learning of Twitter, LinkedIn,  Big Data and in the process learnt what I would have taken a life time to learn..
  4. 4th powerful learning “Always Give your best” – go the extra mile to give your best – to others and yourself.  This is important and continue raising your bar – what is your best?

Having said that in this post I will share activities that make me HAPPY and may be you will benefit from modelling them.   Share it; apply it and be HAPPY.

  1. Practice Smiling for 10 minutes after your get up in the morning
  2. Practice silent Laughter for 2 -3 minutes when you are driving.
  3. Practice Meditation for 20 minutes just before your lunch time.
  4. Every evening count and write your lessons for the day.
  5. Shake your body, bend arch and develop elasticity in your body.
  6. Begin visiting museums and forms of learning.
  7. Deliver on your commitments always.
  8. Look for the 5 best things in others.
  9. Perform conscious act of helping others.
  10. Watch baby laughter clips – Download from YouTube.
  11. Read an uplifting book once every month.
  12. Listen to an inspiring music or a song.
  13. Attempt what you have never attempted before.
  14. Introduce yourself to 5 Strangers preferably of opposite gender  every week.
  15. Learn digital tools and automate your digital engagements. 
  16. Daily allocate 30 minutes of your time to think about your family, hobby, job, Goals and Health.
  17. Gift books to others.

 2014 what’s in store for you?  You can PLAN, DECIDE and CONQUER

Bullet proof tips to build your CONFIDENCE

 

 

Confidence is your belief in yourself and nurturing it is a continuous process. Another important thing I would like to share is that lack of confidence is the biggest impediment in our growth be it school, University or work life.   So it make Life sense to develop and nurture your self-confidence.  I am  sharing “18”  tips to nurture your self-confidence, chose one activity a day and perform it to craft your  “BURJ KHALIFA” in CONFIDENCE

  1. Smile and smile 200% more during the day
  2. Take up front row chair during a seminar
  3. Walk and sit straight – no slouching for the next 10 hours.
  4. Exercise your abdomen muscles for an hour today
  5. Introduce yourself  to 10 strangers during the day
  6. Befriend the most intimidating person you always feared.
  7. Go help out 10 people around. It could be helping someone with their grocery bags, opening the door, extending meaningful advice, be creative.
  8. Take a different route to your work and back home. Dress different, eat different, socialize different and do everything different during the day.
  9. Go deliver a 5 minute speech in your office get together.
  10. Fake it till you make it – Think, Act and Speak confident. Your beliefs are your STRENGTH.  Your beliefs are your Weakness. The dichotomy is the choice of your beliefs
  11. Practice eye contact: Increase the duration of your eye contact when talking to others and be the last to break the eye contact.
  12. Compliment 5 people at your work and then go on to compliment 5 more.
  13. Practice delivering 5 jokes among your colleagues
  14. Call up your “3” of your neighborhood supermarket and tell them how happy you are with their services.
  15. Don’t respond to questions or statements but ask question.
  16. Visit your neighborhood social organization and volunteer for free work.
  17. Organize a get together for 10 of your acquaintances and get to know them better.
  18.  Ask for a “5” favours or request for help from “5”  different people but not your family members.

Enjoy reading and practicing the tips.

 

What is in your plate


Last Sunday I accepted an invitation for a full day seminar.  During the lunch time a 7 course buffet was served.  Audience crowded around the buffet table; people filled up their plate to the top and few snacked on the healthy food. 

Buffet table and the diners around reflect our life.  We are bombarded with so much information and distractions that we begin believing in filling our plate to the brim.  And consequently we develop clutter in our life; clutter of INFORMATION (including TV time; Facebook time, Internet browsing time), clutter in THINKING, clutter in WORK, clutter in HEALTH and clutter in our FAMILY RELATIONS.  And finally we are dull into mediocrity.   The question is what activities will trigger your right brain thinking and motivate us to get out of the clutter mode.  I am sharing few organic activities and there is no better time than your weekend time to begin the experiment.  If you find change in yourself repeat it often.

Read the rest of this entry »

Next weekend is round the corner hence I have laid down the buffet of activities; activity 1 & 2 are MANDATORY whereas among 3 – 20 activities,  you can chose four  activities and slot them in your next 48 hours weekend schedule.

  1. Practicing thinking your goals in PICTURES and visualize yourself achieving your goal. Time 15 minutes a day
  2. Begin conversation with yourself, questions yourself and demand answers.  What is my goal in life; what activity gives me the greatest pleasure; what is the best use of my time now; what gives me the greatest high?  The objective of this exercise is to find your sweet spot and repeat it often.  Time 30 minutes a day
  3. Get up half an hour early and go for a 30 minute brisk walk around the park.
  4. Join Yoga or a Meditation group.  Time 20 Minutes a day
  5. Lunch out with your family.
  6. Write a post card to your parents and tell them how much do they mean to you.
  7. Find four people to help, even holding a door for someone is help, giving a direction to hyper market or even helping your kid solve a math problem is a help.
  8. Attend an educational event on Meet up and introduce yourself to the group.
  9. Spend an hour deep reading a book on future Trends.
  10. Invest an hour on memory training.
  11. Invest two hours on  your Hobby.
  12. Get in touch over phone with two of your friends that you have not called for over a month.
  13. Identify two people that you would like to express gratitude, call them up and tell them how they have impacted your life.
  14. Rearrange your reading table or your sitting room
  15. Go out for an hour walk in the evening and admire the beauty of your city in lights.
  16. Purchase inspirational picture, frame it and hang it in your study room.
  17. Identify a cause and spend time with less fortunate people.  Use your creativity to identify their pressing skill or educational need and train them.
  18. Learn to create a video blog ( Youtube)
  19. Get out of the house: Visit an Art Gallery; visit a museum, go fly a kite.  Prepare yourself to be out in the morning hours.
  20. Go on digital diet & disconnect for the next 12 hours – no phone, no TV; no computer.

 

Good luck and happy upcoming weekend.