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Replace C’s with E’s

Positive

 Last week I shared a tip – “Spend one day of the week without Complaining, Condemning and Criticizing.”   Having said that we are creatures of habit and habits are easier to form but difficult to erase provided we replace it with a new habit.  And before we move farther lets have a common definition, how Oxford online dictionary defines 3C’s?

  • CRITICISM: Indicate the faults of (someone or something) in a disapproving way
  • COMPLAIN: Express dissatisfaction or annoyance about something
  • CONDEMN: Express complete disapproval

My 2nd tip is “Practice not using 3C’s for the next 24 hours and replace it with 3E’s positive emotions” as follows   …..

Replace CRITICISM with ENTERTAIN:  Whenever you feel like criticizing someone. Practice sharing a joke.  People will love you for doing so and you would master the art of telling a joke.

Replace COMPLAIN with ENCOURAGE:  Whenever you feel like complaining – stop hold those feeling and find one good thing in the target person, tell him how impressed you are with his one behavior pattern and encourage him to repeat that behavior.  Remember we are encouraging a specific behavior.  Its not YOU but YOUR behaviour

Replace CONDEMN with ENTHUSE: Whenever you feel like condemning – stop hold back those feeling and find when this person had practiced positive behavior enthuse him for being such a person.  Enthuse him for his values and behavior.  Here target of enthuse is the person not the behavior.  It’s YOU and not YOUR behavior

Now the trick is not only to speak positive but next week replace 3Es with 3A’s such as APPLAUD;   APPROVE; APPRECIATE followed by B’s (Brilliant, Bravo, Brightweek after and improve upon your VOCABULARY of positive words.

Golden Tips in Life

Gold_NuggetsLast week I came across few brilliant nuggets of ideas for self-improvements and am sharing it with my connections on LinkedIn and Facebook

  1. REINVENT: Progress happens when you step out of your COMFORT zone and move into COURAGE Apportion 80% of your time in comfort zone i.e. routine exercises and apportion 20% time in Courage zone.  And sooner you will see change in your life.
  2. SPICE: It’s an acronym for Spiritual, Physical, Intellectual, Community and Emotional. Stretch out of your COMFORT zone in SPICE
  3. WEAK LINK: Every day spend time with new people, new forums. Because 90% of your success is a reflection on NEW. Research says most people get their job referral through weak connection called 2nd degree connections in Social Media zone. So spend time on strengthening your first degree connections and then reach out to second degree connections through referrals.
  4. Rule of 3C’s: Spend one day of the weak without Complaining, Condemning and Criticizing. You will find it difficult to do so but the exercise is worth in Gold.
  5. INTERNAL DIALOGUE: Your internal dialogue shapes your life.  If your internal dialogues are positive you will reflect positive results and if you internal dialogues are negative, result will be similar – its GIGO Garbage in Garbage out.

I wrote this blog around 12:00 mid night and loved the feeling.  I made a call to a friend and held back criticizing and complaining.   The feeling was euphoric.  I am certain you will enjoy too practicing rule of 3Cs.

 

My 4 Secrets To Happiness

Pinch_Pencil

“Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be”  said  Abraham Lincoln.    I have experienced few strategies that work like the magic to paint happiness and am sharing four of them.

1)      PLAY BACK: Go back  5 years in the past and find happy moments.  Play them and replay them.  Then go back 10 years in the past and find your happy moments.  Play them and replay them in your mind.  This will uplift your mood and also improve your MEMORY.

2)      SMILE: Every odd hours of your day such as 7, 9, 11. Stop and smile for a minute. Repeat this exercise three times at the clock of every odd hour.

3)      PINCH a PENCIL: Pinch a pencil in your lips across and hold it with your teeth so that your lips corners are stretched.  Maintain the posture for a minute or two.

4)      GRATEFUL AND GRATITUDE:  Before going to sleep write down your gratitude list and what are you grateful for the day.  Practice it for next 7 days and your mood will lift up. Practice it for next 14 days and you will begin supporting a grin.  Practice it for next 21 days and you will wear  a permanent smile on your face.  Gratitude is a very  powerful emotion and it wipes out negative emotions out of your life style such as sadness, unhappiness,  resentment,  jealousy and so on.

It only takes one person to make you happy and change your life:  YOU.  Hence practice the above four principles and be happy

What did I learn?

LearnLife is benevolent because it provides Free Lessons. If you sit down and reminiscence you will realize that every day is a Free class. Now let me reminiscences what did I learn in the past few weeks. However I would avoid names and stories lest it may upset people who inadvertently made me wiser. Read the rest of this entry »

  1. LAW OF LESSONS: Learning is a Science and if you review your daily activities you will find nuggets of wisdom. Hence sit down in the morning to plan your day and review in the evening to pick nuggets.
  2. LAW OF EXPERIENCE: Experience is your best teacher; hence given a choice between watching a movie on TV or visit a new place, opt for the later.
  3. LAW OF FEELINGS: People reciprocate the feelings you communicate. If you communicate sincerity, you would be responded with sincerity. If you communicate respect you will receive respect. Hence decide how you would like to be treated and whatever feelings your communicate; communicate with confidence & conviction.
  4. LAW OF RISK: Take risks no matter how small. Simply step out of your comfort zone; the more you stretch the more you will find Life in your Life.
  5. LAW OF ASKING: If you don’t know or in doubt …. Ask no matter how trivial is the subject and you will save time.
  6. LAW OF OTHERS INTEREST: You want to connect with people; put them first. Entrepreneurs connect most because of their inherent thinking, they think “how he can create revenue in our eco-system.”
  7. LAW OF THE BEST: Learn from the BEST, be WITH the BEST and be the BEST.
  8. LAW OF CONNECTIONS: School and University experiences are the Super glue. Hence friends made during school and University are most potent. I noticed that many startups have co-founders that were school or University buddies. So go revisit your school and University Rolodex.
  9. LAW OF PARENTS: Parent child relation is the relation of CARING. Parents want to shelter kids from the risk and harsh realities of the life and that is wrong. Child learns best from experiences hence let him learn (risk) earlier than late.
  10. LAW OF LIVELIHOOD: If you want to travel from Sharjah to Dubai DON’T ask the Taxi driver for fare followed by where can you catch the bus.
  11. LAW OF AMBIANCE: Quality of your ambiance has reciprocal impact on your performance. Better ambiance is better performance hence create a better ambiance around you; decorate your room, work place with happy memories.
  12. LAW of MEMORY: Out of sight is out of mind hence consistently remind yourself of high impact activities. Don’t rely on your memory but write down in your diary so that it gets done, You derive maximum pleasure from completing high impact activities.

I have shared TWELVE laws and am certain you will benefit from it Too .

Power of Reminder

 

Crying_Baby“The experience adds to sticky factor is a really good post. I just read it. Just a note, it’s not off course it’s of course. And it should be meetings and meets instead of simply meet and meetings :D” .. ……Wrote Alisha Mehra.

This was the email I received from my daughter who is studying to be a lawyer. This was a VERY pleasant surprise that she cared to read and like. The article had bridged the generation gap and during the process I learnt my lesson.  Life is about continuous learning and last week I learnt another VERY important lesson. If you want to succeed in life than follow two simple steps

  • PLAN MEANINGFUL TASK: Plan and Write down your Meaningful task.
  • REMINDER: Continue reminding yourself (Meaningful Tasks) what needs to be done.

Put in POST IT notes reminders on your computer, in your bedroom, in your wash room, in your office, in your car. And sooner than later you will realize that you have accomplished the task. I have realized there is nothing beyond your capacity to achieve, its just that in the humdrum of life our attention is diverted and another task takes precedence. Result we miss deadlines and fail to complete the meaningful task. Hence the trick is CONTINUE REMINDING yourself; put an alert on your cell phone, ask your family and friends to follow up. Sooner you will be a success. It’s like the crying baby gets the milk. Reminders are like the crying baby and our attention like the parents.
Continuous “REMINDERS” is a powerful tool; so Remind, Remind and Remind till you complete the meaningful task.

Your Traffic signals and Road signs ?

Traffic_signalDubai is building more roads, more bridges/tunnels, more Salik but still not able to cope with traffic problems.   Imagine the sight of Dubai roads if Dubai did not have traffic signals, bridges/tunnels & road signs.  

Well our mind is somewhat similar with over 60,000 thoughts running in a day.  And most of the time multiple thoughts meander and collide because we have not installed traffic signals or road signs; resultant we invite stress and our productivity level is shot down.

People say focusing your mind on one subject brings the maximum impact. Focused mind also brings more peace and happiness.  In a research on a group of monks who had been practicing extreme meditation, it was found that their frontal lobe lit up when meditating which is a response triggered when you are very happy.  Hence research proves that focusing your attention on one single task at a time makes you happy.  And probably this is the reason we are happy when our mind is uncluttered.

I would suggest few practical tips to bring focus and the tips are INTERNAL and EXTERNAL.  Let’s talk about

EXTERNAL TIPS:

  1. Think inside the box: (BRIDGES AND TUNNELS) Assume I ask you “In next 15 seconds write down names of as many green colour things”  And thereafter I ask you in next 15 seconds write the names of all green colour things in your refrigerator.”  Guess which question will invite a longer list?
  2. Many a time (TRAFFIC SIGNALS) we engage people in a conversation who we have earlier cheated us or did not keep up to their promises.  And when we engage with such people it impacts us adversely; our mood and metabolism.  Hence discipline yourself to avoid negative people and negative thoughts.  Practice this exercise for the first half of the day and slowly extend it to the day, week and month.
  3. Six thinking hats (ROAD SIGNS) : This is about exercising your thinking.  At any given time think why an idea will work, think why it will not work and think how you can make it better.  Use Edward De Bono Six thinking Hats methodology to train your thinking.
  4. 80/20 Rule: (HIGHWAY/EXPRESS WAY) Apply 80/20 rule in your professional life.  List out all activities and decide what is 80% and OUT and what is 20% and IN.

INTERNAL TIP:

  1. Every afternoon (FRIDAY MORNING DRIVE ON DUBAI ROADS) before your lunch time and after you reach home in the evening;  sit down quietly for 15 minutes and meditate or sit still with no distraction – no TV, No internet, no call, no newspaper and no email  just be with yourself.

 Enjoy a stress free life.

Success Secrets to New Year Resolutions

2014.2014It’s January 23, 2014 and we are nearing the end of the 1st month of the New Year 2014.  Where are you with your New Year’s resolution? On track or off track?

You can ask me the same question.   Well 2011; 2012; 2013 I miserably failed on my New Year resolutions and I realized that my failure was due to four factors.  And they are:

  • Fuzzy ideas regarding my resolutions
  • No plan of action.
  • Out of sight, out of mind and finally
  • I did not have a mentor or partner to keep me on track. 

This year I changed my strategy which is bearing fruits.  Hence, I will share it in this post.  December 2013 I decided to shortlist “4” best seller books (non-fiction) that were in line with my goals. And then on December 20, 2013 onwards I chose my first book wherein my theme was “Master Science of Persuasion.”   Since I come from a sales background, it’s important to study selling but it’s more important to masters how customer buy?  So I chose my first book to be “Yes! 50 Secrets from the Science of Persuasion” written by Steve J. Martin and Robert B. Cialdini.  The objective was to: Read the rest of this entry »

  • Focus on the “SCIENCE OF PERSUASION” for the next 3 months.
  • Study the book and practice the passage and tips.
  • Carry the book along with the objective to keep the resolution in my vision.
  • Read and re-read and practice the principles.
  • Time permitting to read other online content published by the author and comments/reviews written by the readers.

Subsequent to these three months, that is, the beginning April 2014 my theme is “Thinking big” and the book will be “The Magic of Thinking Big” by David J. Schwartz. Similarly, there are themes for the months subsequent to those, that is, from July – September and October – December.  By the end of the year I should have mastered 4 principles and made them second nature to me.

This book methodology is working with me because it has addressed the four reasons of failures.  You can further reinforce your learning by writing book reviews and blogging your experiences.  Or better still, contact a meet-up group and deliver your learnings in the forum.

Good luck

How to be a Smart Digital Citizen

 

 

You are being watched by Hackers, Stalkers, Employers, Federal agents (PRISM in US) and Insurance companies.  Hence be careful and in this post I am sharing tips on Digital Etiquette and how to protect from Digital Enemies.

  1. Create and keep strong password
  2. Protect your computer install good SECURITY SOFTWARE to protect against MALWARE, IDENTITY THEFT and DATA THEFT.
  3. Don’t give up information that identifies you and could be the cause for IDENTITY THEFT  INCLUDING  
    • Your Home Address
    • Phone number
    • Your long trips Away from Home
    • Short trips away from home
    • House layout
    • Your risky behavior
  4. Third Party applications such as ONLINE GAMES can access profile information through malicious links and files. The information gathered through this can be used for various reasons such as spam e-mails and criminal activity. Ensure to always click on links from trusted sources.
  5. Use the ‘DO NOT TRACK feature on your browser while visiting websites
  6. Clear COOKIES from your system regularly
  7. Use A SECONDARY E-MAIL ID (not used for personal mailing) for sign-ups
  8. Use a VPN (Virtual Private Network) – a VPN allows you to encrypt your signal, making your IP address completely illegible to hackers.
  9. Know your PRIVACY SETTING, who can see your posts and who doesn’t.
  10. Don’t upload INAPPROPRIATE PICTURES that you would be ashamed 2 years later.
  11. Don’t PROMOTE YOURSELF TOO MUCH and like share other important relevant content.
  12. EXPLOITATION:  In cyber world People usually tend to update status such as ‘going out with family for dinner at 9’, ‘visiting Dubai on the 25th with family’ and other such messages. These are bits of information that can be exploited by cyber attackers. They can plan to rob the house on the day the family is out or stalk the family at the location mentioned in the status update.
  13. Avoid topics on  Sex, Religion and Politics
  14. Know who to add and who not to add
  15. Stop and think before your click to purchase
  16. Put up a professional profile picture on Social Media sites.

Trust the above helps you towards a safer journey in your digital world

 

6 REASONS I failed in my 2013 RESOLUTIONS

 


2013 has come to an end and new year 2014 is on the horizon.  2012 I failed in my resolutions whereas in 2013 I failed miserably in my resolutions.  This time I have decided to try a different process and am sharing my thoughts in the post.   I will agree on resolution provided I can answer the following 6 questions.

  1. Write my new year’s resolutions.
  2. Write down why I want to achieve them?
  3. Do I have the right tools to achieve them?
  4. Do I believe in them?
  5. Do I have a plan?
  6. Finally are they aligned with my goals in life?

If I have a compelling answer to the above Six QUESTIONS then go ahead and incorporate them as part of my 2014 resolution. And in the event I don’t;  either I drop them or find  compelling reason and then make that part of   2014 resolution.

Good luck for your 2014 resolution and success.

Trending Topic in Dubai “TRAFFIC Jams”

I was surfing the net when I got a Skype call from a friend in India.  He said “Hi – I am driving and thought of connecting with you through Skype.”     Last Thursday while driving on Emirates road I noticed a long line of vehicles ahead hence I decided to turn towards the city to avoid the traffic.  Alas the situation was worse; the traffic had come to stand still.   That’s when I realized the traffic in Dubai will continue to grow grim over the next few years.  And there are numerous reasons contributing to Traffic jams and am sharing few of them:

Why Traffic jams:

  • Population increase.
  • Increase in number of vehicles on the road.
  • Limitation of infrastructure to handle increase in traffic.
  • Global events such as Expo 2020 and other regional events taking place in UAE are contributing towards increased movement of vehicle on DUBAI  roads.
  • More and more people using cars and not carpooling.
  • People from other Emirates not encouraged using Metro services.
  • Car owners not using Metro unless it connects direct office to residence.

What can Dubai government do to minimize traffic jams?

  • Expand and build road infrastructure to support future growth.
  • Develop a feeder Metro; bus and taxi services to connect main metro stations
  • Restrict traffic on certain commercials zones.
  • Restrict type of traffic or vehicles during certain time periods or days
  • Support car pool services and make it simpler.
  • Build multi-storied parking zones next to metro stations.
  • Work with other Emirates to ease entry and exit choke points.

 The traffic jam cost sweat equity in terms of man-hours lost.  So what is the solution ?  Well I am sharing my thoughts to minimize and add value to your time on the road and or tips to utilize your time when stuck in traffic jam.

  1. Identify a suitable less traffic time to travel such as leaving early from home to office and office to home.
  2. Use metro to reach faster and Fresh in Dubai
  3. Buy your groceries and essential items online to be delivered to your home.  And save general purchase commute time.
  4. Cut down on Commute Time:
    • Find residence next to your office.
    • Use digital tools such as video conference for meetings.
    • Replace onsite with online seminars and web events
    • Identify convenient meeting places for business meetings in the city such as coffee shop or restaurants equipped with WIFI
  5. Things  to do when in the car:
    • Listen to audio program – Create your University in car
    • Listen to your favorite music.
    • Touch base with business and friends
    • Utilize time to fix up meetings.
    • Call on Radio Stations and participate in contests
    • Practice breathing exercises – my favourite
    • Practice Memory exercises
    •  Use time to plan your next day
    •  Set aside travel time for brainstorming new ideas – my favourite

Good luck on your road journey in Dubai