Last week I shared a tip – “Spend one day of the week without Complaining, Condemning and Criticizing.” Having said that we are creatures of habit and habits are easier to form but difficult to erase provided we replace it with a new habit. And before we move farther lets have a common definition, how Oxford online dictionary defines 3C’s?
- CRITICISM: Indicate the faults of (someone or something) in a disapproving way
- COMPLAIN: Express dissatisfaction or annoyance about something
- CONDEMN: Express complete disapproval
My 2nd tip is “Practice not using 3C’s for the next 24 hours and replace it with 3E’s positive emotions” as follows …..
Replace CRITICISM with ENTERTAIN: Whenever you feel like criticizing someone. Practice sharing a joke. People will love you for doing so and you would master the art of telling a joke.
Replace COMPLAIN with ENCOURAGE: Whenever you feel like complaining – stop hold those feeling and find one good thing in the target person, tell him how impressed you are with his one behavior pattern and encourage him to repeat that behavior. Remember we are encouraging a specific behavior. Its not YOU but YOUR behaviour
Replace CONDEMN with ENTHUSE: Whenever you feel like condemning – stop hold back those feeling and find when this person had practiced positive behavior enthuse him for being such a person. Enthuse him for his values and behavior. Here target of enthuse is the person not the behavior. It’s YOU and not YOUR behavior
Now the trick is not only to speak positive but next week replace 3Es with 3A’s such as APPLAUD; APPROVE; APPRECIATE followed by B’s (Brilliant, Bravo, Bright) week after and improve upon your VOCABULARY of positive words.
- REINVENT: Progress happens when you step out of your COMFORT zone and move into COURAGE Apportion 80% of your time in comfort zone i.e. routine exercises and apportion 20% time in Courage zone. And sooner you will see change in your life.
- SPICE: It’s an acronym for Spiritual, Physical, Intellectual, Community and Emotional. Stretch out of your COMFORT zone in SPICE
- WEAK LINK: Every day spend time with new people, new forums. Because 90% of your success is a reflection on NEW. Research says most people get their job referral through weak connection called 2nd degree connections in Social Media zone. So spend time on strengthening your first degree connections and then reach out to second degree connections through referrals.
- Rule of 3C’s: Spend one day of the weak without Complaining, Condemning and Criticizing. You will find it difficult to do so but the exercise is worth in Gold.
- INTERNAL DIALOGUE: Your internal dialogue shapes your life. If your internal dialogues are positive you will reflect positive results and if you internal dialogues are negative, result will be similar – its GIGO Garbage in Garbage out.
I wrote this blog around 12:00 mid night and loved the feeling. I made a call to a friend and held back criticizing and complaining. The feeling was euphoric. I am certain you will enjoy too practicing rule of 3Cs.
“Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be” said Abraham Lincoln. I have experienced few strategies that work like the magic to paint happiness and am sharing four of them.
1) PLAY BACK: Go back 5 years in the past and find happy moments. Play them and replay them. Then go back 10 years in the past and find your happy moments. Play them and replay them in your mind. This will uplift your mood and also improve your MEMORY.
2) SMILE: Every odd hours of your day such as 7, 9, 11. Stop and smile for a minute. Repeat this exercise three times at the clock of every odd hour.
3) PINCH a PENCIL: Pinch a pencil in your lips across and hold it with your teeth so that your lips corners are stretched. Maintain the posture for a minute or two.
4) GRATEFUL AND GRATITUDE: Before going to sleep write down your gratitude list and what are you grateful for the day. Practice it for next 7 days and your mood will lift up. Practice it for next 14 days and you will begin supporting a grin. Practice it for next 21 days and you will wear a permanent smile on your face. Gratitude is a very powerful emotion and it wipes out negative emotions out of your life style such as sadness, unhappiness, resentment, jealousy and so on.
It only takes one person to make you happy and change your life: YOU. Hence practice the above four principles and be happy
Internet has created level playing field. Anyone can go online and take up free education. In the past few weeks I have been browsing through the net and I picked up few powerful lessons that I would like to share
- FEEL STUCK AND BORED: List down a new person you can meet, a new place to visit or a new activity to engage. And once your list is ready go and meet, visit engage in the new activity. Message: Grow this list and meet new people new place and learn new things.
- PROCRASTINATION: Procrastination is tool of poor. You have been procrastinating an important job, activity or a meet. You dread taking the first step. SOLUTION: There are two options.
- Nag (internal dialogue) yourself to take the first step.
- And if you have no clue how the job should be done, write down the names of all people who can help you. Now go ask them for help.
- The other day I was listening to YouTube interview of a billionaire and he was asked “What is one thing that has helped you immensely in your business?” and his response was listening to people. Message: Listen more than you speak and you will never regret.
- Create an imaginary or virtual master mind group (Idea from “THINK AND GROW RICH”). The virtual master mind members may be top 5 richest, Nobel laureate or global leader past or current – Read their biography before you visualize calling them for a meet. You will be surprised that when you ask them for answers to your pressing challenges, you will begin discovering answers yourself. Message : We have answers to all the challenges it’s just that our mind needs a little nudge.
Enjoy your life and include one new activity, person, place during the day and your life will never be the same. Remember Journey of thousands mile begins with the first step.
A journey of thousand miles begins with the first step and if you continue your journey into next 21 days; it becomes a habit. Its not that I did not realize the law of neuro-science that 21 days makes a habit. But there is a realization that it’s easy to fall prisoner to emerging trends in Digital world and lose sight of productive habits. Let me share few of them.
1. Whatsapp: I would get up early morning and not touch my cell phone till it was time to leave. But no sooner my WhatsApp account was activated I became a serial WhatsApp browser. No sooner I got up, I would check on the quotes, messages and jokes shared on the WhatsApp and begin responding to them. I would look for a good DP for the day. Sooner it had eaten up into my time for exercise, newspaper reading and meditation. SOLUTION: Discipline – Prioritize your time for important activities aligned with your goals. It’s easier said than done but I took the bitter pill and slotted whatsapp on the lower rung .
2. INTERNET BROWSING: Computers have become a source of nuisance. No sooner I would get up, I promptly log onto Gmail, Facebook, LinkedIn and twitter and jump among the various platform hoping that someone has sent me a message or shared, liked my post. SOLUTION: Discipline – Only discipline can bring you out of this habit. Discipline yourself to spend not more than three chunks of 30 minutes slots on such platforms spread over the day. 30 minutes in the morning – 30 minutes in the afternoon and 30 minutes in the evening.
3. LATE NIGHT OUT: I believe in early to bed and early to rise. But on an experimental basis I tried to reverse the cycle for couple of months. That is I arranged late hours meetings (Business and social) over drinks. Suddenly my internal clock took a toll. And I my performance in many areas fell – my response time fell, thinking process slowed down, stress rose up, gained weight and jobs were left unattended. SOLUTION: Discipline – Slowly returned to “ early to bed and early to rise routine.” Started getting up at least 3 hours before my work time and catch up on my productive activities including exercise. Our DNA is structured to work best when you sleep early and get up early.
Anything and everything can fall into place provided you discipline yourself. And remember journey of thousand miles begins with the first step. Is you first step in the right direction is the question you must ask yourself.
Life is benevolent because it provides Free Lessons. If you sit down and reminiscence you will realize that every day is a Free class. Now let me reminiscences what did I learn in the past few weeks. However I would avoid names and stories lest it may upset people who inadvertently made me wiser. Read the rest of this entry »
- LAW OF LESSONS: Learning is a Science and if you review your daily activities you will find nuggets of wisdom. Hence sit down in the morning to plan your day and review in the evening to pick nuggets.
- LAW OF EXPERIENCE: Experience is your best teacher; hence given a choice between watching a movie on TV or visit a new place, opt for the later.
- LAW OF FEELINGS: People reciprocate the feelings you communicate. If you communicate sincerity, you would be responded with sincerity. If you communicate respect you will receive respect. Hence decide how you would like to be treated and whatever feelings your communicate; communicate with confidence & conviction.
- LAW OF RISK: Take risks no matter how small. Simply step out of your comfort zone; the more you stretch the more you will find Life in your Life.
- LAW OF ASKING: If you don’t know or in doubt …. Ask no matter how trivial is the subject and you will save time.
- LAW OF OTHERS INTEREST: You want to connect with people; put them first. Entrepreneurs connect most because of their inherent thinking, they think “how he can create revenue in our eco-system.”
- LAW OF THE BEST: Learn from the BEST, be WITH the BEST and be the BEST.
- LAW OF CONNECTIONS: School and University experiences are the Super glue. Hence friends made during school and University are most potent. I noticed that many startups have co-founders that were school or University buddies. So go revisit your school and University Rolodex.
- LAW OF PARENTS: Parent child relation is the relation of CARING. Parents want to shelter kids from the risk and harsh realities of the life and that is wrong. Child learns best from experiences hence let him learn (risk) earlier than late.
- LAW OF LIVELIHOOD: If you want to travel from Sharjah to Dubai DON’T ask the Taxi driver for fare followed by where can you catch the bus.
- LAW OF AMBIANCE: Quality of your ambiance has reciprocal impact on your performance. Better ambiance is better performance hence create a better ambiance around you; decorate your room, work place with happy memories.
- LAW of MEMORY: Out of sight is out of mind hence consistently remind yourself of high impact activities. Don’t rely on your memory but write down in your diary so that it gets done, You derive maximum pleasure from completing high impact activities.
I have shared TWELVE laws and am certain you will benefit from it Too .
“The experience adds to sticky factor is a really good post. I just read it. Just a note, it’s not off course it’s of course. And it should be meetings and meets instead of simply meet and meetings :D” .. ……Wrote Alisha Mehra.
This was the email I received from my daughter who is studying to be a lawyer. This was a VERY pleasant surprise that she cared to read and like. The article had bridged the generation gap and during the process I learnt my lesson. Life is about continuous learning and last week I learnt another VERY important lesson. If you want to succeed in life than follow two simple steps
- PLAN MEANINGFUL TASK: Plan and Write down your Meaningful task.
- REMINDER: Continue reminding yourself (Meaningful Tasks) what needs to be done.
Put in POST IT notes reminders on your computer, in your bedroom, in your wash room, in your office, in your car. And sooner than later you will realize that you have accomplished the task. I have realized there is nothing beyond your capacity to achieve, its just that in the humdrum of life our attention is diverted and another task takes precedence. Result we miss deadlines and fail to complete the meaningful task. Hence the trick is CONTINUE REMINDING yourself; put an alert on your cell phone, ask your family and friends to follow up. Sooner you will be a success. It’s like the crying baby gets the milk. Reminders are like the crying baby and our attention like the parents.
Continuous “REMINDERS” is a powerful tool; so Remind, Remind and Remind till you complete the meaningful task.
Last week I was expected to meet a friend in Dubai but was feeling a bit lazy because it would have taken me an hour to drive through traffic and an hour to drive back. Friend called up to reconfirm the meet and I promptly agreed when he said that he has just returned from a full day training session on a yacht. Now this peaked my interest looking forward to interesting conversation.
Yesterday I was expected to meet another friend and once again felt lazy until the friend called up to reconfirm. I had a strong mind to postpone the meet but somehow resisted. And am glad I met him because I began asking him about his hobbies and was exposed to absolutely new side of his personality that was an opportunity to learn and work on Mobile Commerce opportunity.
Now you may be wondering why do I fix up meetings on first place when I am not certain to comply. My answer is I fix up meet to discuss a specific subject but during the time from “Confirmation to the Meet” time my interest takes a deep dive.
On the flip side my post is not about confirming meet and subsequently missing on meeting. What I would like to bring up is that LIFE EXPERIENCES bring in STICKY factor in your personality. The more experiences you undergo and of-course good experiences the more ATTRACTIVE you become. And one simple process way to absorb more experiences is meet people, meet new people and master the art of probing questions. Because you will never uncover others experiences if you don’t ask probing questions.
As we grow up the demands on our time and resources shoots an upward trajectory. The demand plants stress and depression in our fertile mind. How can you insulate yourselves from perceived stress and depression? Simply follow Rule of Three ….
1. 30 MINUTES: Get up early and take a “TALL WALK” walk in the park. This has multiple benefits
- Research says that sunlight acts as a refresher tonic.
- Colour green sprouts up the mood like the sprouting seeds impacting our overall well-being.
- Walking tall peps up your confidence.
- Walking for 30 minutes massages your body muscle increase flow of blood thus acting as a lubricant. Further it enhances the flow of positive hormones in your body.
2. 3 MINUTES: Gaze up in the sky for next 3 minutes. And while gazing count the birds, play with shape of clouds or simply day dream. Chin up gazing uplifts and brings in positive mindset. This too has multiple benefits
- When you look up towards RIGHT you access stored memories part of your brain – Good exercise to ruminate on past success/past images/experiences.
- When you look up towards LEFT you access creativity/construction part of your brain.
- Further Chin up is a good exercise to firm up your neck muscles.
3. 5 MINUTES: Sit down in a quiet place, close your eyes and hmmm OM. This too has multiple impact
- a. Sharpens your focus.
- b. The OM sound acts like a balm on your nerves.
Incorporate Rule of “3” tips in your lifestyle and get back your OPTIMISM in next 20 days.
Dubai is building more roads, more bridges/tunnels, more Salik but still not able to cope with traffic problems. Imagine the sight of Dubai roads if Dubai did not have traffic signals, bridges/tunnels & road signs.
Well our mind is somewhat similar with over 60,000 thoughts running in a day. And most of the time multiple thoughts meander and collide because we have not installed traffic signals or road signs; resultant we invite stress and our productivity level is shot down.
People say focusing your mind on one subject brings the maximum impact. Focused mind also brings more peace and happiness. In a research on a group of monks who had been practicing extreme meditation, it was found that their frontal lobe lit up when meditating which is a response triggered when you are very happy. Hence research proves that focusing your attention on one single task at a time makes you happy. And probably this is the reason we are happy when our mind is uncluttered.
I would suggest few practical tips to bring focus and the tips are INTERNAL and EXTERNAL. Let’s talk about
- Think inside the box: (BRIDGES AND TUNNELS) Assume I ask you “In next 15 seconds write down names of as many green colour things” And thereafter I ask you in next 15 seconds write the names of all green colour things in your refrigerator.” Guess which question will invite a longer list?
- Many a time (TRAFFIC SIGNALS) we engage people in a conversation who we have earlier cheated us or did not keep up to their promises. And when we engage with such people it impacts us adversely; our mood and metabolism. Hence discipline yourself to avoid negative people and negative thoughts. Practice this exercise for the first half of the day and slowly extend it to the day, week and month.
- Six thinking hats (ROAD SIGNS) : This is about exercising your thinking. At any given time think why an idea will work, think why it will not work and think how you can make it better. Use Edward De Bono Six thinking Hats methodology to train your thinking.
- 80/20 Rule: (HIGHWAY/EXPRESS WAY) Apply 80/20 rule in your professional life. List out all activities and decide what is 80% and OUT and what is 20% and IN.
- Every afternoon (FRIDAY MORNING DRIVE ON DUBAI ROADS) before your lunch time and after you reach home in the evening; sit down quietly for 15 minutes and meditate or sit still with no distraction – no TV, No internet, no call, no newspaper and no email just be with yourself.
Enjoy a stress free life.